Normality
by Scorpia710
Summary: Alex may be the spy, but Tom can be just as dangerous. With Alex's sanity at risk, will Tom stop singing before it's too late? Crackfic. Written for The Firm's September Prompts. Chosen prompt: Music.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Alex Rider. Be glad I don't, I would probably have had Yassen adopt Alex or something…(plot bunny comes to life).

……………………………….................

"You should have your own theme song," Tom gushed to Alex as they made their way back to Tom's house. Alex had hesitantly relayed the information of his latest mission to Tom, and had tried to calm some of the more exciting bits down.

Apparently, he had not tried hard enough.

Chuckling, Alex looked to the sky as if hoping to find the reason for Tom's bizarre statement written among the cloudy sky.

"And you think this because…?"

"Every cool superhero, or," he leaned over and whispered, "_spy_, has their own theme song--"

"Excuse me, did you just say superhero? I hardly qualify to be called that, try victim or innocent bystander instead," Alex interrupted with a grim shake of his head. Tom just didn't seem to understand, spying was not a joke, but it felt wrong to try and prove that to him, he didn't want Tom to worry the way Jack did.

"Innocent bystanders don't save the world," Tom said with a snort.

Alex ignored this and continued, "And anyways, superhero's have capes and wear tights. I'd rather eat my maths text than wear tights, and capes get heroes killed."

Tom laughed, "Do they really?"

"Hell, yes," Alex said with a tight nod. "They get caught by airplane engines and ground into a million pieces, sharks grab a hold of the material and pull them under water, angry girlfriends choke them with their own cape…I've seen it happen, and let me tell you, not a pretty sight."

Tom grinned, "You've seen this happen to whom?"

"Low-flying man and his apprentice…er…."

"Yes?" Tom said slowly, a grin on his face.

"My caffeine high just wore off," Alex said with a sigh and shrug. "I got nothing…oh, wait! How about, runaway-from-danger boy?" Alex snickered and Tom tried not to smile.

"Anyway, back to your theme song. I was thinking Extreme Ways--"

"Can't, Jason Bourne already has it."

"Oh, well, that really sucks. I love that song. What about Live and Let Die?"

"I'm sure it was used somewhere, besides, it's not cool enough for today's world."

Looking offended at that, Tom tried again. "Who says you need something never used before? Just use the Bond theme," he crossed his arms looking exasperated.

"Ugh, after the Double-O-Nothing jokes I heard while training? You insisted I needed a theme song," said Alex, clearly enjoying himself, "the least you can do is give me a good suggestion."

Tom stopped and turned to him, his face going flat. "You know what, I've got the _perfect _song. It fits you brilliantly."

"Tell me."

"How about I sing it instead?" Tom practically snarled. Alex barely had time to be frightened before Tom started singing…loudly.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wo-or-rld! Life in plastic, it's fantastic!" Tom sang, much to Alex's horror.

People turned to stare, a group of teenage girl on the corner near them started giggling, what was worse was that Alex recognized a few of them from Brookland.

"You can brush my hair," Tom continued and reached over to tug at Alex's locks, grinning wickedly. "Undress me anywha-ere-er!"

The girls shrieked with laughter and Alex, pride of the MI6, blushed.

He started to walk away, telling himself he would never push Tom again, but his friend followed along after him, skipping and still singing.

"Imagination, life is your cre-a-tion!"

"Please stop, I think my brain is melting," Alex moaned.

Tom stopped singing just long enough to laugh and say sarcastically, "I'm not done yet, if you won't appreciate my utter awe that you can be so cool, I'm going to annoy the hell out of you."

Alex burst into surprised laughter and walked a bit faster. "How is that going to make me appreciate your, um, awe? If anything it makes me want to push you off a cliff."

Tom paused, "I hadn't thought that far…but I'm having way too much fun to stop now," he grinned then, and Alex could tell he was going to be hearing a certain song for a long time.

Surprisingly, that didn't bother him. Everything was perfect. After two weeks spent away from his friends and Jack, running for his life, and making gadgets like a miniature MacGyver, it was nice to once again feel...normal.

**Authors Note: **Makes you wonder what spies carry on their ipods, eh? Hehe. I was reading the other prompt responses just a second ago, when I found someone had basically the exact same idea I had when it came to using the Music prompt (or at least the Aqua song Barbie Girl)…way to burst your bubble.

I should have thought more outside the box. Since I already said I would be posting this on my Yahoo group, and in the Anywhere But Here authors note, I'm posting this anyway, and I hope the other author understands that I'm not stealing her/his idea.  
A lot shorter than my last Prompt Response, and probably not near as enjoyable, but I had the urge to write something a lot more lighthearted than the other things I've been working on, (mainly Faint Hearted, I must have been going through a huge teenage angst thing when I started to write that, lol). ^_^


End file.
